








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 564 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11980 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9975 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7020 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7150 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,622 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | 57% | 90 |
| #2 | hxibo | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Panzerwagen | 53% | 247 |
| #4 | defect | 50% | 157 |
| #5 | GoblinoGrande | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | hxibo | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | Panzerwagen | 53% | 247 |
| #4 | defect | 50% | 157 |
| #5 | GoblinoGrande | 48% | 84 |
| #6 | zhorx #mp3 | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panzerwagen | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Pat | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | GoblinoGrande | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | zhorx #mp3 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | defect | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panzerwagen | 382 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | defect | 234 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Pat | 204 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | zhorx #mp3 | 193 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | GoblinoGrande | 180 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panzerwagen | +1.52 | 54 | 60 |
| #2 | zhorx #mp3 | +1.14 | 51 | 69 |
| #3 | hellbit | +1.12 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | hxibo | -0.37 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | defect | -1.75 | 65 | 42 |





