








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 318 | 20% |
| Smokes | 464 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 658 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $36,857 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Physikz | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | HippieHagrid | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | dark | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | jeff2 | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | peroshka | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff2 | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | HippieHagrid | 2 | 0.0267 |
| #3 | Physikz | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | d9 | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | dark | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Physikz | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | d9 | 22 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | peroshka | 20 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | dark | 14 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | jeff2 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ovz | +11.36 | 97 | 20 |
| #2 | peroshka | +4.45 | 34 | 70 |
| #3 | jeff2 | +4.33 | 87 | 23 |
| #4 | dark | +2.58 | 33 | 53 |
| #5 | d9 | +1.27 | 41 | 55 |





