








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4445 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4649 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3873 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3299 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,668,885 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old'n Slow | 48% | 151 |
| #2 | Hnigak | 47% | 158 |
| #3 | Sirians | 46% | 204 |
| #4 | SeanBond | 45% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old'n Slow | 48% | 151 |
| #2 | Hnigak | 47% | 158 |
| #3 | Sirians | 46% | 204 |
| #4 | SeanBond | 45% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirians | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | SeanBond | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Hnigak | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old'n Slow | 590 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | SeanBond | 240 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sirians | 160 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hnigak | 121 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirians | +1.47 | 56 | 38 |
| #2 | Hjorth | +0.62 | 51 | 69 |
| #3 | SeanBond | -0.62 | 46 | 69 |
| #4 | Old'n Slow | -2.03 | 25 | 68 |
| #5 | Hnigak | -2.93 | 31 | 48 |





