








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1218 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2044 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1540 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1753 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,320 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue mango | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | ★ Chiken ★ | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | duke [currently on VACation] | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue mango | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | ★ Chiken ★ | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | duke [currently on VACation] | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Chiken ★ | 7 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Chiken ★ | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | blue mango | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | duke [currently on VACation] | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +1.30 | 59 | 70 |
| #2 | duke [currently on VACation] | +0.90 | 61 | 41 |
| #3 | ★ Chiken ★ | +0.34 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | blue mango | -0.52 | 42 | 63 |





