








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1664 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1578 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1805 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1625 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,590 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | momo | 44% | 52 |
| #17 | zostar^ ☆ | 44% | 25 |
| #18 | Mr. Fais | 38% | 24 |
| #19 | TitusDK | 36% | 22 |
| #20 | FGS | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momo | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | LemieuX | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | A-K | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Lord Clipsen - The Danish Legend | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Sm3den | 2 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garrett | 417 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | LemieuX | 180 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | mureren | 157 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | LittleWizDK | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | momo | 97 | 0.09 | 3 min |





