








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1245 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1192 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1404 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,567 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tebaz | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Stook | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | ZeBBo | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | LiNqUiStIC | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Rakshil | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeBBo | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | mazkub | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | rasti | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Rakshil | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Vaihdoin taas nimen | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rakshil | 573 | 0.36 | 16 min |
| #2 | ZeBBo | 357 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | mazkub | 344 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | rasti | 130 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | LiNqUiStIC | 52 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stook | +0.56 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Rakshil | +0.30 | 73 | 83 |
| #3 | rasti | +0.28 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | ZeBBo | +0.22 | 49 | 69 |
| #5 | mazkub | -0.15 | 60 | 73 |





