








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 383 matches | 1,960 | |
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8291 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6029 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5279 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5359 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,051,049 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TW♠-♦ | 53% | 278 |
| #2 | M y R u | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Jenni <3 | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | LasseMan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | kisse | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | M y R u | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Jenni <3 | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | LasseMan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | kisse | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | Djungeltrubaduren | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djungeltrubaduren | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | TW♠-♦ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | M y R u | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | LasseMan | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TW♠-♦ | 1064 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Djungeltrubaduren | 168 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | LasseMan | 142 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | M y R u | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TW♠-♦ | +4.23 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Creeds | +0.44 | 52 | 67 |
| #3 | LasseMan | -0.48 | 40 | 73 |
| #4 | Djungeltrubaduren | -1.40 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | M y R u | -3.28 | 28 | 36 |





