








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 624 | 29% |
| Smokes | 679 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,386 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreeZ | 4 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | exitinG | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Skodo | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ✪ h1dd3n | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | gxd | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exitinG | 158 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skodo | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | let the world burn | 35 | 0.37 | 0 min |
| #4 | FreeZ | 29 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | kwezz | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |





