








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1651 | 31% |
| Smokes | 849 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2205 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 695 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,940 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathias_bohn | 43% | 175 |
| #2 | All Father Spoon | 35% | 43 |
| #3 | Muggamapilimap | 27% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathias_bohn | 43% | 175 |
| #2 | All Father Spoon | 35% | 43 |
| #3 | Muggamapilimap | 27% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathias_bohn | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | All Father Spoon | 9 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Muggamapilimap | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mathias_bohn | 146 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | All Father Spoon | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Muggamapilimap | 20 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | All Father Spoon | +0.83 | 26 | 29 |
| #2 | mathias_bohn | -0.13 | 34 | 37 |
| #3 | Muggamapilimap | -1.58 | 29 | 19 |
| #4 | Ninji | -3.43 | 39 | 33 |





