








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 679 | 51% |
| Smokes | 363 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 265 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 32 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $246,812 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaivyon tuggle | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | BlueCow | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Kemo | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | flame | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | squirtle | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flame | 28 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Purple Durple | 12 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | BlueCow | 11 | 0.0327 |
| #4 | Barret | 10 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | jaivyon tuggle | 4 | 0.0234 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueCow | +3.63 | 94 | 51 |
| #2 | flame | +3.14 | 65 | 42 |
| #3 | Barret | +2.70 | 87 | 45 |
| #4 | jaivyon tuggle | +0.62 | 81 | 47 |
| #5 | max | +0.60 | 83 | 41 |





