








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 251 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7798 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5445 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5523 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4132 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,238,314 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 652 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Christiann2412✯ | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | xBasiaツ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Ovidiusz | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Odin | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Voman. | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Christiann2412✯ | 518 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Voman. | 180 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Christiann2412 ''2 acc'' | 175 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | xBasiaツ | 126 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | ARES | 112 | 0.16 | 3 min |





