








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1898 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3062 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4947 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4556 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2848 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,894,537 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ꜱᴛᴇꜰᴋᴇ ᴛᴀᴛᴀ | 82% | 33 |
| #2 | 2Lynĸ | 68% | 192 |
| #3 | Geert Wilders | 68% | 40 |
| #4 | Bsn | 66% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ꜱᴛᴇꜰᴋᴇ ᴛᴀᴛᴀ | 82% | 33 |
| #2 | 2Lynĸ | 68% | 192 |
| #3 | Geert Wilders | 68% | 40 |
| #4 | Bsn | 66% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Lynĸ | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Bsn | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Geert Wilders | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bsn | 132 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | ꜱᴛᴇꜰᴋᴇ ᴛᴀᴛᴀ | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | 2Lynĸ | 47 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | Geert Wilders | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leftist Cuck | +2.83 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | 2Lynĸ | +1.91 | 76 | 33 |
| #3 | ꜱᴛᴇꜰᴋᴇ ᴛᴀᴛᴀ | +1.40 | 62 | 62 |
| #4 | Geert Wilders | -0.73 | 35 | 34 |
| #5 | Bsn | -1.16 | 54 | 39 |





