










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 416 matches | ||
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 388 | 3% |
| Smokes | 4124 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5783 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 3645 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,922,868 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony "Kirby" Soprano | 39 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | arcade | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | cookies.dll | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ItsJoint | TTV | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | CountDrac2501 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cookies.dll | 306 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tony "Kirby" Soprano | 242 | 0.02 | 6 min |
| #3 | ItsJoint | TTV | 175 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | CountDrac2501 | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | arcade | 19 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cookies.dll | +3.95 | 57 | 77 |
| #2 | arcade | +1.30 | 74 | 9 |
| #3 | ItsJoint | TTV | +0.81 | 46 | 44 |
| #4 | ![]() Laser Crane | +0.52 | 71 | 25 |
| #5 | CountDrac2501 | -2.36 | 41 | 27 |






