








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 275 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1951 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3498 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 2307 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,940 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darmwind | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Fives | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | •★ Vaping_Banana ★• | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | HimpY | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | keV O_o | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amphe zum Frühstück | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | •★ Vaping_Banana ★• | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | darmwind | 117 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | keV O_o | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | das_jugilein ツ | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •★ Vaping_Banana ★• | +4.78 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Xen0n | +2.12 | 67 | 34 |
| #3 | Fives | +1.82 | 41 | 52 |
| #4 | HimpY | +0.55 | 45 | 56 |
| #5 | Amphe zum Frühstück | +0.29 | 51 | 70 |





