








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3269 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2975 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5230 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2246 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,711 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amirai | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Вall[Z?] | 74% | 86 |
| #3 | BeatingBros | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | Diamond | 70% | 71 |
| #5 | dirty30 | 65% | 60 |





