








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3284 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4743 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3316 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3104 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,576,327 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sAkis | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | oliver =l | 64% | 50 |
| #3 | ✡Jewish Gold✡ | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | GeT_sNiffed | 61% | 158 |
| #5 | cope生活 | 59% | 304 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cope生活 | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Smaertniga | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ✡Jewish Gold✡ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Pasi Kuivalainen | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | GeT_sNiffed | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cope生活 | 1188 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #2 | GeT_sNiffed | 652 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | Smaertniga | 342 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | oliver =l | 323 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #5 | ✡Jewish Gold✡ | 132 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeT_sNiffed | +2.89 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | oliver =l | +2.73 | 89 | 77 |
| #3 | cope生活 | +1.81 | 67 | 75 |
| #4 | sAkis | -0.17 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | kalaonfish | -0.79 | 62 | 59 |





