








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1004 | 39% |
| Smokes | 653 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 613 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 296 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,290 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♱ 🥶 TAKE NOTES | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | i liek eggz | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Samurai Crack | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | Demetrios5 | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | ApolloFixed | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demetrios5 | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | SpeedoGM | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Samurai Crack | 57 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Teo Adevarata | 42 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♱ 🥶 TAKE NOTES | 37 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♱ 🥶 TAKE NOTES | +6.66 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | Demetrios5 | +5.05 | 55 | 59 |
| #3 | i liek eggz | +4.37 | 69 | 44 |
| #4 | mutu | +2.52 | 73 | 44 |
| #5 | Mesone | +1.27 | 42 | 42 |





