








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 881 | 24% |
| Smokes | 906 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 983 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 916 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,750 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓 🅗 | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Vogurt | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | hkb | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | Ray Whitaker | 49% | 74 |
| #5 | ✪ tippy | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [𝔅ℜ𝔊] пипипупу | 14 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Vogurt | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Ray Whitaker | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | puke | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ✪ tippy | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vogurt | 346 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Toaster8Toast | 188 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ tippy | 186 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | hkb | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ray Whitaker | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |





