








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 611 | 27% |
| Smokes | 378 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 982 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 311 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,110 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.pipes | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Riho | 56% | 140 |
| #3 | Speedy McNutt | 54% | 134 |
| #4 | klai | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | JOHN XINA | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.pipes | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Riho | 56% | 140 |
| #3 | Speedy McNutt | 54% | 134 |
| #4 | klai | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | JOHN XINA | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy McNutt | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Riho | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | G.pipes | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JOHN XINA | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | klai | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riho | 283 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Speedy McNutt | 143 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | klai | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | JOHN XINA | 15 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | G.pipes | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dive | +2.31 | 77 | 40 |
| #2 | Riho | +1.17 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | G.pipes | -0.60 | 25 | 49 |
| #4 | JOHN XINA | -0.84 | 46 | 50 |
| #5 | Speedy McNutt | -1.22 | 33 | 48 |





