








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 439 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,481 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle Bej2 | 20 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Puffrasson | 16 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Makkn | 13 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | InVinCible | 11 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | cj | 6 | 0.0197 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puffrasson | 246 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tank | 233 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | OmSkuren | 228 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Makkn | 223 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | paincandy | 183 | 0.25 | 5 min |





