








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1321 | 27% |
| Smokes | 903 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1111 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,403 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickMinute | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Tall1 | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | Jacky.Ransome | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Zimmo | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Spinna | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tall1 | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Ty | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Spinna | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ahi777 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Hiayeas | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tall1 | 139 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | ahi777 | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Obs | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hiayeas | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spinna | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zimmo | +6.39 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | Ty | +3.80 | 57 | 62 |
| #3 | Obs | +3.24 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | Hiayeas | +2.36 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | Spinna | +2.25 | 66 | 58 |





