








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 23% |
| Smokes | 903 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 568 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 549 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,777 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arsene Wenger | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Märkäkoira | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | vige97 | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | 4n4lfryer2 | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | pHILEAS BEST | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Märkäkoira | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | vige97 | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | 4n4lfryer2 | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | pHILEAS BEST | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | tuumi | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arsene Wenger | 172 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | vige97 | 109 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Märkäkoira | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | 4n4lfryer2 | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | pHILEAS BEST | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pHILEAS BEST | +2.29 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Märkäkoira | +2.07 | 55 | 48 |
| #3 | Arsene Wenger | +1.64 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | vige97 | +1.61 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | Last Hindu | -0.76 | 51 | 67 |





