








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 941 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 666 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4531 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4183 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3149 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4333 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,175,773 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Power Overwhelming | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | SKYyE | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | FuntaniousRex | 52% | 204 |
| #4 | Pride | 52% | 198 |
| #5 | nexgen | 50% | 356 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nexgen | +1.47 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | FuntaniousRex | +1.44 | 87 | 38 |
| #3 | Rain Staley | +1.00 | 60 | 65 |
| #4 | Power Overwhelming | +0.68 | 42 | 55 |
| #5 | Grob Gob Glob Grod | +0.21 | 82 | 56 |





