








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 814 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7109 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10791 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 8281 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6497 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,609 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛥ Z̷͆̉a̷̔̊y̷͒͝s̷̛̍ | 54 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Davion Blunt 🥤 | 48 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | wazamjay | 30 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Prymyl | 23 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | SupaViBeZ | 20 | 0.0109 |





