










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2648 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2274 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2308 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,648 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WallLeBarbu | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Xander | 51% | 134 |
| #3 | Trimpman | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Lapwass | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Arhy | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WallLeBarbu | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Xander | 51% | 134 |
| #3 | Trimpman | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Lapwass | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Arhy | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | WallLeBarbu | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Trimpman | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xander | 203 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Trimpman | 79 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lapwass | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Arhy | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | WallLeBarbu | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WallLeBarbu | +0.68 | 68 | 46 |
| #2 | Xander | +0.62 | 56 | 53 |
| #3 | Gawa2x | -0.20 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Trimpman | -0.53 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | Arhy | -0.77 | 19 | 66 |





