








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1317 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1777 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 776 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,478 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzar | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | POLOBOsky | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | Google Ultron | 52% | 127 |
| #4 | solid.- | 47% | 62 |
| #5 | VendavaL | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POLOBOsky | 11 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Google Ultron | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | solid.- | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Fuzar | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | 3x',. | 3 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | solid.- | 176 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | POLOBOsky | 176 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Google Ultron | 159 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fuzar | 102 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | 3x',. | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opie .# | +3.42 | 65 | 60 |
| #2 | Fuzar | +2.96 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | solid.- | +2.62 | 41 | 72 |
| #4 | POLOBOsky | +1.56 | 44 | 64 |
| #5 | 3x',. | -1.06 | 66 | 52 |





