








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 663 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1533 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2209 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1622 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,965 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majkl | 55% | 107 |
| #2 | Caprison Ford | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | Doc. Jordikbordik | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | 🐕Polikujm🐕 | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | Xyz255 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majkl | 55% | 107 |
| #2 | Caprison Ford | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | Doc. Jordikbordik | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | 🐕Polikujm🐕 | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | Xyz255 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majkl | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Caprison Ford | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | 🐕Polikujm🐕 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐕Polikujm🐕 | 165 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Majkl | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Caprison Ford | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Doc. Jordikbordik | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xyz255 | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eGNs | +2.59 | 62 | 45 |
| #2 | Caprison Ford | +2.25 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | 🐕Polikujm🐕 | +1.28 | 38 | 68 |
| #4 | Doc. Jordikbordik | -1.01 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | Majkl | -2.49 | 64 | 51 |





