








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 101 | 12% |
| Smokes | 277 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 214 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 235 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,351 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JZX | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Bloodgear | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Bald MoleRat | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | JayneDohnson | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Keez | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bloodgear | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Bald MoleRat | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | JayneDohnson | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Keez | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | Trippy | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JayneDohnson | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloodgear | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Keez | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | JayneDohnson | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bald MoleRat | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | JZX | 7 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JZX | +5.12 | 56 | 70 |
| #2 | Bald MoleRat | +1.12 | 72 | 44 |
| #3 | Keez | +0.68 | 49 | 72 |
| #4 | JayneDohnson | +0.49 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | asian supremacist | +0.03 | 79 | 52 |





