








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4127 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6069 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2831 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2772 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,551 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primi God Mango | 58% | 177 |
| #2 | Jules | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | moon | 54% | 176 |
| #4 | olivia | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Crabs_01 | 49% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primi God Mango | 58% | 177 |
| #2 | Jules | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | moon | 54% | 176 |
| #4 | olivia | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Crabs_01 | 49% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primi God Mango | 49 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | moon | 22 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Crabs_01 | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Jules | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | olivia | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primi God Mango | 487 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | moon | 391 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Crabs_01 | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | olivia | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jules | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darquisha | +3.85 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | Primi God Mango | +2.05 | 58 | 50 |
| #3 | moon | +0.46 | 69 | 49 |
| #4 | olivia | -0.60 | 81 | 36 |
| #5 | Crabs_01 | -2.19 | 64 | 50 |





