








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3531 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3959 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2970 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1774 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,160 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㄖҜㄩ卩卂几ㄒ 卩丨乙ᗪㄚ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ZLP | Ka4an | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ZLP | Gatito | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ZLP | shh~ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ZLP | COPROSASHA~ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZLP | shh~ | +4.55 | 76 | 79 |
| #2 | МІША ЕКЗОТІКА | +3.85 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | ㄖҜㄩ卩卂几ㄒ 卩丨乙ᗪㄚ | +1.64 | 70 | 69 |
| #4 | ZLP | COPROSASHA~ | +0.40 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | ZLP | Gatito | +0.22 | 66 | 69 |





