








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1813 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1571 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1397 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,373 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Luolamies | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | Bizzle | 53% | 80 |
| #7 | jupe | 52% | 21 |
| #8 | Peij00n4 | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | jointheclub | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bizzle | 346 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | jointheclub | 149 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Peij00n4 | 88 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | iwnl - SnowSlide | 70 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Luolamies | 60 | 0.10 | 2 min |





