








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2158 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1807 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1217 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,508 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nomoti | 86% | 21 |
| #2 | Kommander.cfg | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Pabloslav₁₃₃₇ | 61% | 74 |
| #4 | riktigapepe | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | tjv | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whajn | +2.93 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | nomoti | +2.83 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | Kommander.cfg | +2.29 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | ☂osker ✪ | +1.51 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Pabloslav₁₃₃₇ | +1.36 | 68 | 57 |





