








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 349 matches | ||
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6226 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7227 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4670 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5262 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,411 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNEX I sou! | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | C4TVRIX | 46% | 90 |
| #3 | Yarrack_Kangama | 45% | 117 |
| #4 | GayLord of Darkness | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNEX I sou! | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | C4TVRIX | 46% | 90 |
| #3 | Yarrack_Kangama | 45% | 117 |
| #4 | GayLord of Darkness | 37% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4TVRIX | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | UNEX I sou! | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Yarrack_Kangama | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | GayLord of Darkness | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GayLord of Darkness | 133 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | C4TVRIX | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | UNEX I sou! | 98 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yarrack_Kangama | 61 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4TVRIX | +2.43 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Tide | +1.18 | 34 | 71 |
| #3 | UNEX I sou! | +0.72 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | GayLord of Darkness | -1.55 | 31 | 73 |
| #5 | Yarrack_Kangama | -3.90 | 21 | 38 |





