










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3938 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2459 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3094 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,904 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1044 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Florin | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | Lohins | 43% | 69 |
| #8 | Aigars | 38% | 48 |
| #9 | Nana | 36% | 25 |
| #10 | pqDemo's | 33% | 42 |





