








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6320 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5506 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5363 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3912 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,525,364 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bottigan | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | #1985 Jonesi | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | JORSKE | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | oggre | 45% | 163 |
| #5 | Raivo Spaddu | 42% | 127 |





