








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1742 | 34% |
| Smokes | 990 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1346 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1017 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,461 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mob1K | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | al Kp0ne 🤔🌌 | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | Jebola | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Kuhander | 47% | 103 |
| #5 | NoticeMeSenpaiii | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuhander | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | NoticeMeSenpaiii | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Mob1K | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Jebola | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | al Kp0ne 🤔🌌 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuhander | 379 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jebola | 287 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | al Kp0ne 🤔🌌 | 273 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mob1K | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | NoticeMeSenpaiii | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |





