








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1284 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3108 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2592 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2346 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,566 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dad'E-Sport / Maka | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Dad'E-Sport / BiGoRrE65 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Dad'E-Sport / Rudy77 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dad'E-Sport / Sh4D0W | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | George37s | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dad'E-Sport / BiGoRrE65 | 384 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dad'E-Sport / Maka | 289 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dad'E-Sport / Rudy77 | 188 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | George37s | 129 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mikea | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |





