








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3661 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3070 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2879 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1830 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,923 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syedzukan | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Jedi | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | 7seen | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | tiber | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | JakXin | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syedzukan | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Jedi | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | 7seen | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | tiber | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | JakXin | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakXin | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Jedi | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | 7seen | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | tiber | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | syedzukan | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7seen | 254 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | JakXin | 171 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | tiber | 116 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | syedzukan | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jedi | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syedzukan | +2.41 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | JakXin | +1.93 | 62 | 63 |
| #3 | 7seen | +0.06 | 57 | 67 |
| #4 | tiber | -0.05 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | Sham | -0.60 | 73 | 73 |





