








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1695 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1845 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2051 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1549 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,598 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazem | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Wacky | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | daz | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | merchantman | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazem | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Wacky | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | daz | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | merchantman | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | merchantman | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | daz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daz | 311 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | merchantman | 222 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Wacky | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | hazem | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazem | +3.53 | 71 | 41 |
| #2 | daz | +2.57 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | RayMond | +0.98 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Wacky | -0.15 | 56 | 77 |
| #5 | merchantman | -0.48 | 65 | 60 |





