








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3558 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2863 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2697 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3114 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,987 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | qhyzix | 43% | 63 |
| #10 | ENTROPY | oneN'only | 40% | 35 |
| #11 | p4xӜ | 37% | 30 |
| #12 | MageD | 33% | 24 |
| #13 | Dxmon | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WayneTrain0 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | qhyzix | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | p4xӜ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | H4l0 - powered by Grayskull | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Dxmon | 2 | 0.0038 |





