








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8885 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7216 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7137 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7157 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,457 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trops | 56% | 81 |
| #2 | ᴘʏʀᴢɪ ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Kahjolinna_78 | 54% | 127 |
| #4 | Teuska | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Sandewi | 52% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kahjolinna_78 | 54% | 127 |
| #4 | Teuska | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Sandewi | 52% | 88 |
| #6 | Irvileuka (Ykä_gaming) | 52% | 48 |
| #7 | exel | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trops | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Kahjolinna_78 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Sandewi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | exel | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Teuska | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kahjolinna_78 | 483 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Trops | 219 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | exel | 204 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sandewi | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Irvileuka (Ykä_gaming) | 158 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trops | +1.14 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | exel | +0.99 | 44 | 74 |
| #3 | MAD JOHNNY BOY | +0.91 | 57 | 78 |
| #4 | Teuska | +0.72 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | Sandewi | +0.43 | 71 | 56 |





