








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 278 | 10% |
| Smokes | 490 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1152 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 891 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,605 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | WingsofPastrami | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | Bink | 33% | 27 |
| #9 | yomer890890 | 32% | 38 |
| #10 | ❤Renny❤ | 29% | 31 |
| #11 | GOOS | 14% | 14 |





