








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2551 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3062 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2143 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,816 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krys - / | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Frifroome | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Caribuzzz | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | dAVEN'.' | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | LA VIOLENCE | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Caribuzzz | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | dAVEN'.' | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | LA VIOLENCE | 51% | 83 |
| #6 | StORMZ^) | 47% | 55 |
| #7 | M1KE | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caribuzzz | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | dAVEN'.' | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA VIOLENCE | 312 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | StORMZ^) | 214 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Caribuzzz | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | M1KE | 149 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | dAVEN'.' | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krys - / | +3.60 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | dAVEN'.' | +2.24 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | CROSSHAIROFF | +1.62 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | StORMZ^) | +0.19 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | M1KE | -0.48 | 67 | 73 |





