








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2254 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2485 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2898 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2284 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,982 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fyzzar :F:FFF::F | 64% | 101 |
| #2 | henni /11/ | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | ✪ tschabrnack | 48% | 198 |
| #4 | 3mmA*Klatscht | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fyzzar :F:FFF::F | 64% | 101 |
| #2 | henni /11/ | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | ✪ tschabrnack | 48% | 198 |
| #4 | 3mmA*Klatscht | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ tschabrnack | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | fyzzar :F:FFF::F | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | henni /11/ | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ tschabrnack | 745 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | fyzzar :F:FFF::F | 388 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | henni /11/ | 209 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | 3mmA*Klatscht | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hencock | +1.37 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪ tschabrnack | +1.19 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | fyzzar :F:FFF::F | +0.20 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | henni /11/ | -0.54 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | 3mmA*Klatscht | -3.22 | 46 | 54 |





