








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 879 | 26% |
| Smokes | 736 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,089 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guac | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | MaclaS | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Snigern | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | Meldgaard | 65% | 40 |
| #5 | Don dada | 64% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | -KiloJulez- | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | D€§ÑÏQ♿ | 62% | 13 |
| #8 | G1enn0 | 60% | 52 |
| #9 | Fedtspilmand | 55% | 11 |
| #10 | Schmidt Genoptræning tech | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D€§ÑÏQ♿ | 4 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | MaclaS | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Don dada | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don dada | 229 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | G1enn0 | 186 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Meldgaard | 121 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snigern | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | MaclaS | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guac | +4.58 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | Don dada | +2.10 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | G1enn0 | +1.25 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | Meldgaard | +1.16 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | Tangerose | +0.99 | 70 | 59 |





