








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 998 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1324 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1187 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2311 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,666,130 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJ | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | andersleidwitzig | 49% | 93 |
| #3 | Champ Harrison | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | DeadliftDetlef | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | goeiegioia | 43% | 321 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CJ | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | andersleidwitzig | 49% | 93 |
| #3 | Champ Harrison | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | DeadliftDetlef | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | goeiegioia | 43% | 321 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andersleidwitzig | 17 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | goeiegioia | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | DeadliftDetlef | 11 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Champ Harrison | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goeiegioia | 540 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | andersleidwitzig | 210 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Champ Harrison | 185 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | DeadliftDetlef | 125 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | CJ | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andersleidwitzig | +7.49 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | DeadliftDetlef | +6.38 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | CJ | +6.37 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | goeiegioia | -0.47 | 37 | 45 |
| #5 | Champ Harrison | -2.11 | 46 | 48 |





