








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 76 matches | 1,889 | |
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2378 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2329 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2050 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,794 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | TooooEasy | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Dr JoneZ | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | Bengaahh | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | MA7DA | 56% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | maskiN0 | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | 〠 HEJFLICKA 〠 | 52% | 44 |
| #9 | JebeN | 52% | 99 |
| #10 | DONALD T <3 #GRETA | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | Dasken | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JebeN | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Dasken | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Bengaahh | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | maskiN0 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MA7DA | 1017 | 0.32 | 27 min |
| #2 | Dasken | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | JebeN | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dr JoneZ | 101 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | 〠 HEJFLICKA 〠 | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maskiN0 | +2.62 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | _ | +2.62 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | MA7DA | +2.16 | 61 | 84 |
| #4 | TooooEasy | +1.26 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | EricDjr^ | +1.12 | 55 | 74 |





