








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3548 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3806 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4062 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2882 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,243,193 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 737 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrJewJewtsu | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | Chear-iwnl | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | Isaac | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrJewJewtsu | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | Chear-iwnl | 49% | 69 |
| #3 | Isaac | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chear-iwnl | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | DrJewJewtsu | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Isaac | 7 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrJewJewtsu | 172 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chear-iwnl | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Isaac | 92 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | esc | +1.11 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Isaac | -1.10 | 68 | 37 |
| #3 | Chear-iwnl | -1.14 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | DrJewJewtsu | -1.22 | 59 | 45 |





