








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 934 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2379 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1918 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,849,905 of utility $290 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sint Panda | 62% | 58 |
| #3 | mARTIN | 52% | 97 |
| #4 | KURWA JENS | 48% | 71 |
| #5 | Rincon | 47% | 133 |
| #6 | Noni | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mARTIN | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | KURWA JENS | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Rincon | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Sint Panda | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Noni | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sint Panda | +3.86 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | mARTIN | +1.34 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | Rincon | +1.22 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | Esandal | -0.64 | 47 | 48 |
| #5 | KURWA JENS | -0.77 | 51 | 58 |





