








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Renown | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2885 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2942 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2419 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2178 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,233 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DIONEGRONEGRODIO | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | FPCoke | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Naizer | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | xioNNNN | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | V | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xioNNNN | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | V | 54% | 35 |
| #6 | zeuSSSS #nonuke | 53% | 36 |
| #7 | Sarna | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | MAX LAUTATIO | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xioNNNN | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | V | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | DIONEGRONEGRODIO | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | FPCoke | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Sarna | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FPCoke | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | xioNNNN | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | DIONEGRONEGRODIO | 55 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | zeuSSSS #nonuke | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | V | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DIONEGRONEGRODIO | +2.01 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | xioNNNN | +0.68 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | siSma | +0.36 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | Naizer | +0.26 | 35 | 45 |
| #5 | FPCoke | +0.14 | 85 | 56 |





